I Loved You Most
by ArtFlourish
Summary: Rapunzel faces a new life and letting go of her old life.
1. Chapter 1

I Loved You Most

By: Michelle Bowen

Chapter 1:

Memories

_ "Home, it was once been a tower, and the valley that held my tower had once been my whole world. I had known nothing else, no one else but mother, Pascal, and my tower, I dreamt of more. My life has changed in what seems the blink of an eye, I have learned that I was not who mother told me I was, and she was not my mother. It hurt to find out, to learn I was stolen from my real mother and father, the King and Queen of Corona. I was stolen because the woman I considered mother saw me as nothing but a pawn for own youth!" _

_Pausing in my journal I took a deep breath and then continued to write. "I hate her! I hate her so much" my eyes filled with tears as I wrote. "She stole it all from me, and still I loved her...I still do" I wrote feeling anger coursing through me. "She told me every day that I wasn't good enough, I thought that if I could just be good enough I could make her happy. The more I tried the worse she made me feel, I just thought that was how a mother was. I thought that this is what love was. She had me fooled! She had me where she wanted me. And then everything changed when Flynn showed up." _

_There I paused and closed my eyes remembering the fear in that moment when Eugene had come into my tower. I had knocked him out. "That was when everything changed when I Eugene found me, at first I thought he was stupid, eventually we left the tower after I made my point clear, and then we left. I don't know how she found out I left but somehow she tracked us down, and tried to manipulate me, to make me come home. It was the first time I ever questioned her, or ever said no. I had never felt more uncertain of myself, or more certain that I had a right to see the lanterns, I was so confused."_

_My breath caught, "She manipulated me again…..and again….and when I found out who I was and the truth about her, and how she'd taken me. When I tried to leave and Eugene came to save me, she stabbed him, she tried to kill him, and when I promised to not fight her if she let me heal his wounds; Eugene cut my hair and the flower died, freeing me from her." _

_My hands trembled, as I wiped my eyes, and released a shaky breath. "In that moment she turned old and scary and screamed and was like a demon, like those frightening people she always told me about. All the monsters I had been warned of had been in her in that instant! She fell from the tower, and all I could think was mother was dead, I reached for her…and she was gone." I trembled as I wrote the last in my diary, "Mother why? Why me? Why did you do this? Why are you the monster? I loved you… I loved you most."_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A New Beginning

Slowly she woke as the sounds of the city and the people moving within the castle, broke through the silence of her dreams. Silence, she thought drowsily, that was how she'd always woken at the tower, and to the silence and knowing she was alone. She rolled over on her side and looked at Pascal who was just waking as well, "Good morning" she whispered, "Are you hungry?" she asked him. Pascal's nod made her smile, "I bet they have more pancakes" she said thinking of the food she so loved.

There was a knock at her door, and then a maid entered as if on cue to bring her the breakfast she knew the Princess loved. The young woman was laying there looking content with her little chameleon friend next to her. Pascal and Rapunzel were like two peas in a pod, she mused, Maria curtsied, and "Princess….breakfast is served" she said offering it to her.

Rapunzel looked eagerly at the food, it had been a week since she'd arrived home and most of those days had just been one big celebration! Now though the party was over, and she knew that she now faced new aspects of her life here in her real home. With her real parents, she mused, it would be something to adjust to; parents that treated her kindly. For hers had done nothing but hug and kiss her since she'd arrived, or even held her as they wept for joy. But now it was time to settle into a normal routine, whatever that meant. She shrugged and smiled at Pascal who was inching towards the food.

"I see they brought you oranges" She said to her best friend as she watched him steal a slice from Maria. She smiled as the girl giggled at Pascal's antics, once they'd stopped weirding out over a lizard they'd gotten to love him. Why was anyone afraid of Pascal? It was one of the odd questions she didn't ask or care to know, he was friendly and kind, and not at all frightening.

Maria sighed as she began to move about Rapunzel's room and prepared to grab her dress for the day. "Princess Rapunzel….your parents wish to see you in a hour" she explained. "Do you want to wear the green dress or the blue?" she asked holding out two choices. The green dress was a mixture of darker and lighter greens with hints of gold along its sleeves and through the skirt, it was a full dress. The blue was a lighter blue with royal blue details along the sleeve cuffs; it was also a full dress and to Rapunzel seemed far more formal.

"I would prefer the green" she told her and wondered quietly why her parents wanted to see her. "Can't you just call me Rapunzel?" she asked Maria hopefully.

Maria chuckled, "Princess it is not proper, I am a mere servant" she pointed out gently, she had been asked more than once by Rapunzel to refer to her by her name. Somehow she didn't feel comfortable with the idea of such formality, after all once she learned how to be a proper princess, she would insist upon having her title used; Maria just figured it was best to keep the habit in place.

Rapunzel frowned a little, "I still don't understand why everyone insists on calling me Princess" she mused as she got dressed for the day and let Maria do her hair, which of course was much easier since it was so short. "I hate it, I have always been Rapunzel" she muttered, wishing that this stupid rule of Corona's people could be ignored.

As she helped Rapunzel into her dress, Maria decided to try one last time. "Because your parents are the king and queen of our kingdom, we do not call them by their real names. They are the King and Queen of Corona, and you as their daughter are our Princess" she explained. "Rapunzel is your real name but Princess is your title, and we are paying respect to you by saying your title" she explained.

Rapunzel shook her head as she finished dressing, and her crown was placed on her head, "I do not agree that is all" she muttered. "I suppose I should go see what my parents wish to speak about" she mused and stood up without another word on the subject of her title. "I will see you later" she said to Maria and smiled just a little before taking Pascal with her and leaving her room.


	3. Chapter 3

Rapunzel made her way alone to the throne room, and as the servants announced her and opened the massive doors to the throne room; she saw her parents. Her father and mother sitting beside each other, regally calling the attention of those around them; oh how she wished she had their composure. It seemed however that she was constantly coming short of their regal bearings. Was she really going to be okay as a princess? Alternatively, had her time away from people, locked in that...tower...with that...woman, had it ruined her forever?

"Father...Mother" she greeted with a pause and tried her best to smile.

Eve watched the still somehow surreal image of her daughter, of their daughter, as she walked towards them. Rapunzel seemed unhappy now, but she imagined that her daughter was still adjusting to the changes in her life. "Rapunzel...come join us please?" she asked her as she stood up and held her arms open for her daughter, she still couldn't get over holding her.

Vincent watched as Rapunzel entered the room, his blue eyes misted over and then he forced himself to composure, after all he was the king. He could not be all weepy, even if it was still a miracle to see his daughter. "Rapunzel my dear...you look lovely" he complimented her. Green made her seem so regal and so lovely, and she reminded him so much of her mother; when she had been Rapunzel's age.

Rapunzel hugged her mother and then her father and smiled at him, "Thank you Dad" she said softly. "I was told you wanted to talk to me?" she asked them both looking from her father to her mother. Had she done something wrong?

Eve saw the concern in her daughter's eyes, "Sweetheart we just have...I just have some things to discuss with you" she explained, deciding it would be less embarrassing if it were just the two of them. "Your father has some other situations he has to take care of, would you walk with me?" she asked her, holding out her arm to her daughter.

Vincent took it as a hint that he should not get involved on this one, and left it to Eve, after all who could explain the rules better. She had been a princess once and those very rules had been her entire world, or at least throughout her upbringing. "You go on, I'll just be here" he assured Eve and Rapunzel.

Rapunzel took her mother's arm and let herself be lead off, what would they talk about? She could not help but wonder. Maybe she had done something bad during her week of being home that was just now being discussed; what could it be? "Mother is something wrong?" she asked her after a moment of silence.

Eve remained silent for a moment longer as they walked in the hallway; it was a massive hallway, which had paintings on the walls, paintings of her family, including new ones, the newest one of Rapunzel all grown up. She sighed as she stopped in front of it, "Rapunzel...when you were taken, your father and I were devastated, and though we hoped and had faith we would one day see you again, we feared; we feared that somehow we might never again lay our eyes on you" she admitted. "We had no idea where to find you, we just knew that horrible woman took you" There was anger in her voice even as she restrained herself as best she could. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"The woman you knew as mother for all your life, she took you away from us and hid you and kept you" she said it sadly. "I feel horrible even bringing it up, I know it must be so hard for you," she admitted. "I wanted to just think that everything would be alright and turn out well," she admitted. "It's a wonder having you home, but, well, there are things I've noticed," she admitted. "Not that you aren't perfect as you are" she said as she felt Rapunzel tensing.

Rapunzel listened to her talk, and looked admiringly at the painting the palace artist had done, it was lovely; but as her mother spoke to her, she felt her stomach sicken with fear. "Noticed things?" she asked her voice was clearly wounded, what was wrong with her? Was she broken? Was she incapable of just being a normal girl? She wanted it so badly, and she had figured that once her hair was short and she had left the tower, well she had hoped she would get that life. Still as a princess, her dream was denied her, and now her mother was telling her that she wasn't good enough?

She pulled away and put a hand to her heart, "How can you say this? How can there be anything wrong? I didn't do anything wrong!" she raised her voice as tears blinded her for a minute. "I...didn't do anything wrong" she sobbed. "It was HER!" she hollered as her heart raced as she looked for someone to blame for something she could not explain.

Eve stepped back and hung her head a moment, "Rapunzel please calm down, I know it is not your fault," she whispered. Then took her hand and brushed her tears away with the other, "My dear, sweet daughter, I know it isn't your fault. I want to teach you what you need to learn. You weren't taught the educates of a princess, Gothel wouldn't have known them" she pointed out gently. "Please calm down" she asked her before pulling her into a bracing hug.

Rapunzel's shoulders rocked as her mother took her in her arms and assured her it was not her fault. It was not what she was used to at all; Gothel had used every chance she had to berate her. Her mother, her real mother, was trying to sooth her; it was just too much she thought as she sobbed onto her mother's shoulder. "I'm sorry...," she sobbed harder.

Eve ran her hand soothingly over her daughter's back, "No Rapunzel...you've nothing to be sorry for" she said as her voice broke. She took a deep breath, "I'm so sorry I couldn't...I couldn't protect you" she said as tears swarmed her eyes, she buried her face against her daughter's short brown hair and inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry that as a mother I couldn't protect you from the evils of this world, you should have only known the love your father and I have for you, and never the hurt she brought you," she said as anger and sorrow mixed and merged.

Eve pulled back and cupped Rapunzel's face in her hands, pushing her chin up a little so their eyes met the same green. It was uncanny, and so clear to anyone who might pass that they were mother and daughter. "I love you Rapunzel, as you are, perfect or imperfect it doesn't matter" she said softly. Then held out her hand to her, "Now let's talk about some of the rules of the life of a princess" she suggested gently.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4: Rules of a Princess_

_I cannot believe what I have just learned from Eve...that I still have a hard time calling her mother; will that ever change? She took me aside today, to teach me of all things about being a princess! I have never been a princess before now and sometimes I wish I were not. Especially after learning all the rules, so many! My least favorite is that everyone has to refer to me by my title, except for Eugene, mom and dad of course! I think it is ridiculous; my name is Rapunzel, not princess! _

_She and father looked so happy to see me in the throne room, and she seemed to try to comfort me when I got upset as she tried to explain the rules. She told me it was not my fault; of course, it was, as Mo...As that woman Gothel, taught me, I have too many faults. I am nothing but a big mistake! Everything I do is wrong._

_I hate my life right now; I am more confused now than I was before. I feel like my life is speeding out of control now and so much has been given to me, so much duty. Will I ever truly be free? Am I just exchanging one tower for another? Is this just another gilded cage? What kind of princess will I make? I often wonder this question. I really do not see how I will be any good. I am not graceful and confident like mo...Eve. I am not brave and strong like Father. I am just me._

_I am glad that mother and father are at least breaking one rule of princess hood, and that is the marriage rule. Apparently, a princess is supposed to marry another royal or no less than a high noble! Stupid isn't it? Still because of my situation and the fact that Eugene saved my life, mother and father are not going to forbid me from seeing him. I am so relieved, I would run away if they ever changed their minds._

_I cannot go on without him, he is my heart, the only reason I have right now to laugh or dance. I know I was happy when I first came back but now that the celebrations over; well real life is setting in. I am so afraid that I am not up to it, and I am so afraid of failing my parents, of disappointing them the way I failed and disappointed mother Gothel. Sometimes I blame myself for her death, even though I know it was not my fault, she was a bad person._

_I am smiling now because Eugene just brought me flowers, they are so beautiful, and he is smiling at me, maybe life is not so bad after all. _


End file.
